The Sub Scribe

Honesty. Honesty is tricky.

Honesty in a relationship is a two part thing. First you have to be honest with yourself, and then you have to be honest with your lover. The first part of that is often the hardest to achieve. The second part is the more frightening.

The thing is, right, that femdom has always been part of our relationship. From the moment she danced close with another man at a party, looking me straight in the eye as she did so, gauging, and finding pleasure, in my reaction, it’s been there.

But it’s always been a game. That’s what we call it - a “game” or “playing games”. But that’s not true. That’s not honest.

The problem is that deeply and fundamentally, I was attracted to her because she’s dominant and because her inclinations are dominant. It’s a fundamental part of how I feel about her, deeply entwined in the way I love her. This isn’t just a fantasy we act out sometimes - it’s part of what our relationship is. I don’t play at being her slave. I am her slave.

I’ve only just realised this. And, honesty demands that I talk it through with her. Where will this lead? Maybe everywhere. Maybe nowhere.

I’ll let you know.

Femdom Thoughts dominance, honesty, mistress wife, relationships, submission, wife led marriage

This is a chastening post. A blog goes quiet, and then a sudden, final post explaining that the femdom relationship has broken up.

I wonder how common this is?

I wonder how many of the blog that start full of excitement and enthusiasm and abruptly end are little virtual graveyards of attempts to build a femdom relationship? Their lack of updates a mute testimony to human dynamics and the fact that an unconventional power exchange is too much for some people.

Something to think about.

Linky Linky dominance, femdom, pitfalls, relationships, submission

I’ve just had something of an epiphany. You might have noticed that I’ve struggling with this blog. Two posts since May? No original content?

Crap.

But, hey, I’m new to this blogging thing, and I’m struggling to find my voice. And one of the reasons I’m struggling is that too many of the voices I’m reading don’t sound anything like mine. At all.

But today, I found one that did, as long as you make allowance for the fact that she’s a dominant woman on the other side of the planet, and I’m a submissive guy. And this is what she had to say:

From what I could see, femdom was mostly paraphilic.

It meant fetishes.Men’s desire to be trampled on and kicked by stiletto boots. To wear silk panties. To worship corsets and singular body parts. To have all their body hair removed by a schoolgirl who’s wearing PVC garters and a Phantom of the Opera mask.

I couldn’t see what any of it had to do with me.

I nearly danced and cheered when I saw that.

You see, when I was a teenager having submissive fantasies about being in relationships with beautiful, dominant women, who enjoyed every second of the power they had, I thought I was a lonely freak. And then I found the internet, and like so many lonely freaks before me, I found I was far from alone.

But then I carried on reading. And I learned that I should be turned on by being forced into women’s clothes. WTF? (To use the modern internet parlance.) Oh, and I should fantasise about my partner being impregnated by a big black guy. (And the little voice in my head said ‘isn’t that racist? And kinda stupid in the age of HIV?’

And little by little I found myself feeling more alone again. Because I didn’t want a submissive relationship that was all about the stuff done to me. I wanted one that was all about what the dominant woman wanted. Hell, want I wanted was a “normal” relationship that had an aspect of that about it.

And the one day, I found just that.

But that’s a story for another time. In the meantime, welcome to Sub Scribe (notice the provocative use of capitals there…) version 2. I hope I have something to offer…

Me & My Past fantasies, femdom, my sexual history, relationships, the internet, the sub scribe, wierd femdom