Flirting with Dominance
One of the elements of my submissive nature I struggle to understand the most is my desire for my mistress to be flirting with, dancing with, making out with other men. This isn’t a threesome thing - I have no strong feelings one way or another about whether I need to be there or not. And I’m certainly not interested in any interaction with the other man involved.
Bizarrely, of all places, I found a powerful description of the basic impulse at work here in a vanilla blog; Susan Senator’s family blog. In a piece called Flirting with Disaster she describes how she finds herself flirting with another man at dinner, how she tells her husband about it and how she knows this will change their relationship from that point forwards.
This passage caught some of what this is all about:
Snuggling with him on the couch, I left nothing out, so that he would know he could always trust me, even if I flirted more (and I knew I would). This was no guilty confession, however; it was about connection and, ultimately, seduction. At one point, I saw something — anger, maybe, or jealousy — darken his expression, so I said quickly, “You have to understand: This is not about him. Let’s just use it, OK?” I smiled coquettishly. He got it.
This fantasy is about two things. Firstly, it’s about enjoying the female power of my mistress. It’s the joy of her experiencing her sexuality, her attraction to others, and the power she holds in their attraction to her. It’s affirming her as a sexual being outwith the confines of the relationship; someone worth desiring; someone worth serving.
But it’s also about our relationship. It’s about sharing something. It’s about the submission of granting her this right, outside the normal boundaries of a relationship, while asking nothing similar for myself. It’s about submission gifted and dominance joyfully received.
That’s what it’s about.
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