Your husband wants you to dress like a slut? Poor, confused cuckold is asking the wrong question…

A common theme in much online writing about cuckolding is the husband requesting that his wife dress like a slut. He might even use those words. He’s wrong. That’s not what he’s asking – he’s asking for something more profound.

At the heart of cuckolding is the twin ideas of transgression and power exchange. We are transgressing society’s rules by violating marriage willingly and by consent. We are violating cultural expectations by placing the make in inferior position.

Why do so many cuckolds crave seeing their wives in sexually aggressive clothes – often described as slutty – during cuckold situations? For all its psychological under pinnings, cuckolding is an inherently sexual act, one that relies on a transformed sexual role for the wife. She gains sexism independence of her husband and that is clearly, visually made real by a choice of clothes that suggest a degree of sexual availability. Cuckold men want to see their wives dress like women looking for a date – or on a hot one- because it reinforces their transgressional marriage.

Where, in a traditional marriage we might she the wife tone down down the sexual elements of her clothing – or a  jealous husband request that she does so – as an expression of her relationship, so to can a cuckold couple choose the opposite route to express theirs.

Cuckolding in the fetish sense is a relationship – it has to be or it makes no sense – and clothing choice can be a powerful expression of that. Your cuckold-wannabe husband isn’t asking you to dress like a slut, whatever words online porn has taught him. He asking you to dress like a woman who dresses to enjoy male attention – but on her own terms, and in a way that would be inappropriate for most married women. In short, he just have you permission to have fun with your clothes choices in a way that most married women can’t – and a way to create new intimacy in your marriage even if you never become a true cuckold couple.

The unavoidable fantasy

A couple kissing  on a station platform

As I was travelling home – a little drunk, I’ll admit it – I passed a couple lost in each other at the station. They were kissing deeply, oblivious to all around them, utterly lost in sensation.

And I thought the same thing I always do in those moments of accidental voyeurism:

“I wish that was my wife.”

It doesn’t matter how attractive the woman is, I never imagine myself in her lover’s place. I always, instinctivly, think myself into a moment of cuckold submission.

This isn’t a fantasy I have to work on – it’s deep within me.

The Game

On the surface, it’s a harmless game, but it’s roots are in the gender dynamic of our relationship.  The game is all about other men.  Guys that she finds hot.  We will point them out and talk about him and  his hotness.  That’s it.  These guys are always very attractive, but always very manly men.   I know my wife and I know what turns her on, and this is a little sexual game we play that turns her on.  The reason it is so fun is that it turns me on too.  The idea of her lusting after a manly man, but being a part of that lust, turns me on too.

via Not Man Enough « confessionsofacrossdresser.

Dom Me, Cuck Me

The “Dom Me” Outfit

A lovely dress for a dominatrix

Flattering, sexy and feminine. I’d love to kneel in front of my mistress, revelling in the power she carries in this dress. I love the fact that the choker is integrated into the dress as well. I’ve no idea why I find collars to be a submissive thing, but choker to be very, very dominant, but I do. 

The “Cuck Me” outfit

The perfect animal print dress for a cuckoldress

There’s something so very sexually aggressive about animal print dresses on a powerful woman. My ideal cuckolding outfit for my wife is one that I would love to see her in, one that I’d love to be out with her in, one that I’d like her to wear for me. And which she keeps just for dating, flirting and sleeping with other men. This dress hits the spot. 

How To Make Your Husband A Cuckold

Wow. This is almost 100% the other way around from most articles on “cuckold conversion” on the net:

What’s a girl to do? Don’t worry ladies, as the cuckold phenomenon has become more and more popular, we’ve learned from our friends – and from personal sexperience – how to bring out the cuckold desires in your man.

Yes, it’s a guide for the women on how to make their man into a cuckold enthusiast.

Converting a normal guy? A thousand wannabe cucks just cried out in despair and anguish… 😉

Could I Really Enjoy Being a Cuckold?

A few months ago, I stumbled across evidence that I could be, in fact, a cuckold, and may have been one of up to 18 months.

If this were a fantasy blog, here would follow a tale of investigation, arousal, and revelation. This is not a fantasy blog.

I hurt.

I felt betrayed. I felt that the woman I’d shared my life with for the last decade was not who she said she was. This was not a fantasy. This was a nightmare.

Let me take a step back here. Whatever impression this blog may have given over the years, we’re not actually a cuckolding couple. We are both excited by the fantasy, and have played with it as an idea, but we made the joint decision a long time ago that the infidelity was a barrier we wouldn’t cross. So, as you could imagine, this discovery was initially shocking – it knocked the wind out of me. I was upset. I felt betrayed. I was driven on a roller-coaster ride of emotions. And yet, as the days passed until I could confront my wife about this, I began to be able to seperate my feelings out a little more.

I was hurting, and I was hurting because she was lying to me, and hiding things from me. I was hurting because I felt that I’d been a trusting fool and had been betrayed. I was angry because at least one of the possible candidates for her infidelity was a man for whom that would have been an appealing, but ultimately cruel, decision. But, uncomfortably sitting with this, was genuine arousal at the thought that she’d been with someone else. That cuckold fantasy, the darker, more extreme part of my femdom leanings, was genuine. I was turned on by my wife fucking someone who wasn’t me.

I confronted her. And she proved, conclusively, that I was misreading things. She was faithful, I was wrong, and I learnt a little more about how she thinks in the process. I can genuinely say that we grew as a couple as a result of this.

But I’m left more uncomfortable with myself as a result. I’ve discovered that the idea of being a cuckold, of my wife taking others is more than just a fantasy idea for me, it’s something that I could enjoy. And in a sense, that’s left me less comfortable with the fantasy than before. I now know that I do have it in me to be a cuckold. That I could cope with my wife screwing other people. The our marriage, that my life, could potentially walk that path.

But do I really want that?